Ajiri Aki knows how to have a good time. Whether she’s sourcing antiques for her brand, Madame de la Maison, or turning on her out-of-office for an extended stay in Provence, she’s equally devoted to finding pleasure in all of it—the food she eats, the places she travels, the conversations she has with friends and family. Ajiri defines the essential ingredients of joy as “curiosity, creativity, connection, and celebration.” All can be discovered in even the most mundane moments, if your eyes are attuned to see them.

I feel lucky to call Ajiri a friend, and I’m just as thrilled that she’s sharing her POV with the world through her new book, Joie: A Parisian’s Guide to Celebrating the Good Life. When Ajiri came to Austin a few weeks ago, I invited a few ladies for a backyard apéro to celebrate her stunning new book. Scroll on for the simple but stunning snacks we served, plus my interview with Ajiri on what makes a truly joyful gathering.

How did your new book, Joie, come to be? Give us the backstory.

In January of 2020, I was celebrating my 40th birthday in New York City with old friends, and I realized how much I had changed since moving to Paris. What was important to me had slowly morphed into a different version of myself that was only noticeable to me when I left my adopted home country. It had been a few years since I had traveled back to New York, so I hadn’t really thought about it before that milestone birthday celebration.

Three months later, France went into a full lockdown and we could barely leave our homes. Gatherings were abolished, and we lived under a nationwide curfew. In the beginning, I felt very depressed and was faced with so many emotions about the state of the world and life. I wrote a blog post titled A Case for The Good China, that shared how my mother always waited for a special occasion to use her beloved wedding china. After she died, I realized that she never got to use it. It struck a chord with many readers who were similarly confined to their homes.

Why do we wait to use the good china? Why do we wait to do things that bring us joy? Why do we feel guilty or restrict ourselves from experiencing joy daily?

The saying “tomorrow is not promised,” felt so immediate.  I realized that my life in Paris pre-confinement was full of little moments of joie—and I had learned it from living amongst French people. The response from that post inspired me to explore this shift, and I started a deep dive into what joie de vivre really meant and how we can all access it more often.

These beautiful blooms were designed by Stems Floral & Event Styling.

What informs your approach to food and gatherings? 

I live by Dr. Maya Angelou’s quote, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

This is what I always keep in mind when I plan a menu, because I have a tendency to overdo things with grand showy ideas or too many recipes. This quote steers me away from this mistake by keeping me focused on what matters—bringing people together. Of course, I never want people to leave my house hungry or dissatisfied, but with that in the front of my mind, I choose food that is simple, slow-cooked, or sourced.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

What does “the good life” mean to you—and how has it changed since you’ve lived in Paris?

To me “the good life” is one where experiences, people, places, and relationships can be tapped into in ways that bring me joy. It’s not about money, affluence, what job you have, or your family heritage.

“The good life” is about joie de vivre, finding joy in life every single day no matter where you live… and not only on vacation! It’s a life where I recognize that joy is one of my top values and my North Star.

Before moving to Paris, I thought having a good life meant working for a good company or doing work that brought me a lot of money. And because someone taught me that “time is money,” I worked non-stop so that I could could  afford the “it” handbag, designer clothes and travel to all the best resorts or far away places. I thought these things would make me happy, and in searching for happiness in the wrong places, I couldn’t learn the art of finding true joy. 

Walk us through a typical day for you in Paris.

I love waking up before the rest of my family to have a little peace and quiet time with my tea and thoughts. I use this morning time to either flip through books for inspiration, read, write, practice calligraphy while listening to music, meditate, or stretch. This is one of my favorite times of the day because no one is awake to text or talk to me, and I never check my email this early.

After that, I spend the mornings shuffling around in my robe for as long as possible while helping the kids get ready and out the door. Then I either get dressed and take them to school, or Thomas does and I sit in my robe a bit longer to read and ease into my day. If I drop them off at school, I usually have a café with some of the parents before heading back home.

No two work days are the same. I might head to the marché for groceries and the flower shop to get props for photographing my antiques or a styled table setting. I might respond to emails, photograph a few things, then head out to meet a lunch date or eat at home. In the afternoon, I’ll find a café to sit with my computer. I love the variety—it’s what I need for inspiration and creation.

What are a few products you love for the table?

1. Linens are an easy way to elevate any table, and naturally, I have a closet full of Madame de la Maison linens in so many colors ready to mix and match.
2. I love having antique salt cellars that can be used for salt, but also for any condiment or sauce. Soy sauce and hot sauce, salt and pepper, ketchup and mustard, honey and nuts, dessert topping, etc… I could go on with combos and ideas.
3. Knife rests are an undervalued item for the table that I use for buffets and seated dinners. They help keep your utensils directly off the linens in between bites.

What’s your must-have cooking tool?

My grater and zester are usually tossed into my bag when we travel to stay at an Airbnb. I can use them to zest fruit, cheese, vegetables, potatoes, ginger and garlic into sauces or dressing, etc. Every rental doesn’t have a zester, but I find that I use it weekly and get frustrated when I don’t have it. 

Favorite cookbooks?

I typically don’t use cookbooks during the week, but I enjoy busting them out every now and then to experiment on a weekend when I have more time. These are my favorites:

All the Ottolenghi cookbooks because I know anything I cook will be packed with flavor. 

Momofuku’s first cookbook because I love making the Fried Chicken and the Bo Saam and it was one of the first cookbooks where I really tried and enjoyed challenging myself with the recipes. 

Smitten Kitchen cookbooks because all the recipes feel very approachable and delicious.

Tell us a few things we’ll always find in your refrigerator.

More condiments that any person should own! I always have various types of miso paste, Gochujang, Ssamjam, crispy chili oil, sambal oelek, bulldog sauce, harissa, wasabi, confit de onions, confit de figues, cornichons, capers, and anchovies.

What’s one tip for someone who wants to host a gathering on a budget?

Make it a potluck, but call it something else if that word takes you back to 1980s gatherings with too many casseroles. Assign your friends to different courses, take the one that works best for you, then set a beautiful table. It’s absolutely possible to gather with your people without feeling the stress on your finances.

Dream dinner guests?

Michelle Obama, Oprah, Zadie Smith, and Priya Parker. 

What are your signature dishes for gatherings?

I love to keep things simple, slow-cooked, or I just outsource. At my apartment, I will probably serve you a Bo saam, Ox-tail stew, Osso Bucco, roasted Provencal lamb, or an entire salmon with various side salads.

Or I will go with a big apéro-dinâtoire spread, which is basically tons of charcuterie, cheese and nuts, then I add something heartier so you feel full. It’s apéro and dinner all together.

Fill in the blank:

It’s not a dinner party without…

Someone changing up the playlist toward the end for impromptu karaoke or dancing. 

Every cook should know how to…

Outsource when he or she needs a break!

Alison and Jay Carroll split their time between the high desert of Joshua Tree and a small island in Maine. Though a study in contrasts, the locations suit them perfectly, fostering a deep connection with nature that allows them to cook with the abundance of the seasons, as well as provide endless inspiration for their wildly popular olive oil and skincare brand, Wonder Valley. It’s clear that the couple has built a beautiful life all on their own terms—one that enables them to live aligned with their values and freely follow their curiosity, wherever it may lead. 

When we showed up at the Carroll’s Joshua Tree home for a mid-week dinner party, Alison was in the midst of butterflying a chicken. Though her vibe said “laid-back host,” the menu itself revealed a deep knowledge of cooking—she moved about the kitchen with the intuitive approach that only happens when you know what you’re doing. (Picasso’s “Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist” sprung to mind.) The Carroll’s close friends Ryan and Calley Belli had driven in from Los Angeles for a visit, and we spent a peaceful afternoon pitching in around the kitchen island, playing with 6-month-old Bo, and finally, gathering around the table just as the desert sun set over the mountains. 

We all left feeling nourished, body and soul, inspired by Alison’s thoughtful approach to hosting and gathering. Read on for our interview and of course, all the recipes for the insanely delicious feast she prepared.

At home in Joshua Tree

A typical day in the life…

What informs your approach to food?

A small stack of go-to cookbooks. Weekly trips to the local farmers market. A lot of intuition and winging it! Cooking is one of the few areas I don’t overthink. I start yanking stuff out of the fridge without much of a game plan, and meals just sort of come together. I sometimes go deep in learning a new technique like gluten-free baking, cooking over a fire, or using a Japanese donabe.

When I think of our culinary life in Joshua Tree, it involves a cornucopia of incredible citrus, dates, pomegranates, and Persian cucumbers—all from the local farmers’ market during California’s winter months. During our summers in Maine, we live on a working waterfront, so it’s a lot of lobsters and fresh catch from our fisherman neighbors , oysters from good friends who harvest them, wild blueberries and peak season tomatoes. We just built a new wood-fired oven in the backyard, so this coming summer will be the season of wood-fired oven experiments. 

We’re major Wonder Valley fans. How did the brand come to be?

Jay and I started Wonder Valley in 2014 out of a spare bedroom. I had previously worked as the marketing director for the California Olive Oil Council, an incredible role that involved overseeing our professional olive oil taste panel for the annual certification of all 400+ California extra-virgin olive oils. The role exposed me to the absolute best authorities and resources on domestic olive oil, and we still work with mentors I had from that time.  

We saw an opportunity to bring olive oil to a new audience and start a conversation about “extra virgin,” celebrating the quality of oil we produce here in California. We launched the brand and sold out of our first harvest within a month. We have a really unique approach to olive oil in that we pick our fruit rather green which gives us this really wonderful, robust oil that is just brimming with antioxidants and omega-rich fatty acids. A few years after launching the brand we started to use our olive oil in homemade face oils. It was absolutely transformative to the quality, radiance, and health of our skin, particularly living in this high and dry desert. That lit the match for our growing skincare line, all formulated with our olive oil as a hero ingredient.  We feel lucky to be in this unique position to talk about the importance of internal health for external beauty, and to offer products that support a more holistic approach to wellness. 

Tell us about your Joshua Tree home. How did you find it and what’s your favorite part of the space?

Jay and I bought this home in 2015 after about a year of looking. This neighborhood is where we wanted to land due to its proximity to the national park and 360 degree views of boulders and mountains. While driving around we noticed this small homestead with crumbling pink stucco and some boarded up windows. We heard it hadn’t been occupied for some time, so we tracked down the owner’s address and wrote a letter asking if they would be interested in selling, knowing it was likely a long shot. A few months later we closed on the house! 

At the time, we were living in LA and thought this would be our weekend home, but quickly became enamored by the expansive views of our new home and the process of fixing it up. With an optimistic DIY attitude that overshadowed our steep learning curve, we renovated it over the next couple years while living on site in our 1950’s blue Vagabond trailer.  

My favorite part of the house is our dining room, which was previously boarded up and divided into two small shag carpeted bedrooms. It feels like you’re hugged by the mountains on all sides with a little slice of snow-capped San Gorgonio mountain in the distance. 

We launched Wonder Valley just a few months before moving here. This home has given us the space— physically, mentally, and financially—to grow a business with a lot of care and without compromise. 

Walk us through a typical day at home.

The day usually involves some calls and working with our team, which is based between LA and Joshua Tree. Sometimes we’ll work together in person out of our VW HQ studio here on the property. It always involves some time outside—ideally a walk with our dog, Lefty, into the trails behind our house.

This time of year, I usually end my day with an outdoor shower when the stars are just starting to come out. It’s absolutely beautiful to stargaze from a hot shower out in the open desert, and I’ll bring one of our candles out to illuminate it.

We have an outdoor tub too, and I’ve been bringing Bo in for a bath time during the afternoons. We cook most of our meals at home: simple, healthful meals, made quickly, mostly with produce from the farmers market. Sometimes at night we’ll screen a movie, sometimes we’ll  have friends over, staying in our vintage trailer which now serves as the guest house. I always read in bed until I fall asleep. 

Right now, we have a 6-month-old baby girl named Bo, so our days are a bit unpredictable. Mornings usually start with a shot of olive oil and a pot of tea and a big breakfast for me. Sleeping next to a baby is new. Often I need a little extra time in the morning to come into the day.

Bo seems to really enjoy watching me do my routine in the morning and which is at a delightfully unhurried pace. That routine starts with  Oil Cleansing, perhaps a face mask or some gentle exfoliation, always a Gua Sha. I finish the routine with a dropper of our Wonder Serum which makes me instantly feel refreshed – my skin plumped, well-hydrated and glowing.  I transition from my robe and usually wear a jumpsuit (from my line alsbigdeal.com), which is easy to zip on, comfy to wear while working from home, and easy to breastfeed in. 

On hosting and gathering

How Alison and Jay bring people together…

What does a great gathering look like for you?

We like to host. I think this was something we both had in common when we came together. I love the trips to the market, coming up with menus and spending a long day cooking. Jay makes our home feel great with floral arrangements, a great playlist he’s made, and a beautiful table setting with incense and candles burning. We both like to grill, sometimes on our small yakitori grill or sometimes on the big outdoor wood-burning grill. There are great trails beyond our home, so we usually take a walk before the meal with a cocktail in hand. 

What are some products you love for the table?

Our new napkins made in collaboration with our friends at Madre Linen. They source the most beautiful linen fabric with such a perfect color palette, it feels like an instantaneous heirloom.

Kevin Willis for Commune Votive Holders. Our friend and desert neighbor Kevin Willis makes these fantastic perforated ceramic votives and lanterns for candles.

La Soufflerie Glassware. Any glassware by La Soufflerie. It’s all beautiful. We have a pair of the Verre Tete glasses that are shaped like heads

 What’s your must-have cooking tool?

A sharp knife. It’s the most used and essential item, and it should be sharp and feel good in your hand. I personally use a 9” Japanese chefs knife. When my knife is sharp, I feel like I can do anything in the kitchen. Working with a dull knife is like dancing with two left feet. 

What are your favorite cookbooks?

The Canal House books. They have a few books out and they were some of my first cookbooks that I bought for myself when I was 20. They are written by two women who have a restaurant and studio not far from where I grew up in New Jersey. I find their food exciting, timeless, honest and delicious. 

The Cannelle et Vanille cookbooks. Aran has given me the ability to bake gluten-free. It’s absolutely empowering to turn out beautiful sourdough loaves, perfect tarts, homemade bagels, and baguettes, all gluten-free. 

Nancy Singleton Hachisu’s books for Japanese cooking, particularly Japan by Phaidon. 

Tell us a few things we’ll always find in your refrigerator? 

Miso, preserved lemons, capers, spicy mustard, yuzu kosho, a kraut or kimchi. 

What scares you about entertaining and why?

Doing the dishes! 

Your signature dishes for gatherings?

Grilled avocado with yuzu kosho to start, and vanilla ice cream with Wonder Valley Olive Oil and sea salt to finish. Both are extremely simple and incredibly crowd-pleasing. 

Your go-to weeknight meal to eat at home?

Roast chicken is a staple here—it’s the gift that keeps on giving. This usually starts with a whole chicken roasted with some herbs, lemons and garlic. I’ll make a pan sauce with it over vegetables and rice. Then we stretch it out with some leftover salads, sandwiches and a stock from the bones. 

What’s one tip for someone who wants to host a gathering on a budget?

Taco night is pretty fantastic on a budget, and no one’s ever mad about it. It’s easy to stretch braised meat and go heavy with beans and vegetables. Everyone gets to make their own plate, which is helpful if they have dietary issues. It’s also a condiment game; make a chili oil, salsa, guacamole, salsa verde. We buy a big bag of Maseca corn flour (available at most food stores) and make tortillas by hand with a little press. It really elevates taco night and also gets all your guests involved rolling, pressing and frying tortillas. 

The perfect dinner party playlist includes:

Good music! Our music tastes encompass a lot of styles, genres, and eras. Here’s a favorite we use a lot. It was made for the opening of our bar La Reina, in Santa Fe, a few years ago.

Go-to centerpiece:

A bottle of Wonder Valley olive oil. An empty bottle makes a great candlestick or flower vase. 

What is your no-stress party rule to live by? 

Don’t swim upstream. If something’s not working (someone bailed last minute, a dish burned, everything is taking an hour longer), just roll with it. No one will remember or notice it anyway, but everyone will feel the stress radiating off of their host if you let it. 

Dream dinner guests?

John Waters, Ramdane Touhami, Helen Nearing, John Prine, Dolly Parton, and Sade. 

Fill in the blank:

A perfect meal should …

Leave room for spontaneity and improvising. And unique condiments! 

It’s not a dinner party without …

Music! 

Every cook should know how to…

Make a balanced vinaigrette for a perfect, simple salad.

If you love hosting as much as we do, you’ve felt that familiar excitement that comes with setting the table for a big event, holiday, or celebration. It’s a joy that combines seasonal elements, the latest trends, and your personal design touch to create a gorgeous table that makes your guests feel welcome. The only question is, where do you start? Ahead, we’re sharing some of our favorite table-setting ideas for every celebratory occasion. From basic settings for a casual baby shower to formal ideas for a holiday meal, consider this your one-stop shop for table-setting inspo that you can use to elevate any celebration.

Table Setting Ideas for Every Occasion

Let’s be honest: as fun as it is, setting the table can also be a challenge. Personally, I find myself going back and forth between the smallest details that I know my guests probably won’t even notice. Does this linen napkin work? Will a pop of color liven things up? Are these candles totally ugly, or have I just been looking at them for too long? You know the drill. I think I speak for all of us when I say that having a couple of guiding principles is never a bad thing when it comes to setting the table. There’s inspiration everywhere, and we’ve taken it upon ourselves to cull the best of it together in this handy guide for your musing.

While trends are constantly changing (as are your personal tastes), these tablescape ideas are the perfect springboard for sparking creativity. And whether you’ve got an occasion coming up or you’re just looking for eye candy to swoon over, we’ve got you covered with ideas for any celebration in your life that require an equally-joyous tablescape.

Basic Table Setting Ideas

1. Incorporate Handmade Ceramics

Weaving wabi-sabi beauty into your table is a wonderful way to spark conversation and make your table stand out. It can also lean more on the more casual side, which is a plus when you’re not wanting a perfectly uniform look.

2. Let Nature Lead the Way

Filling your table with branches from the garden is a simple and beautiful way to add a natural element to your table. Olive branches, birch branches, eucalyptus branches, you name it. On that same note, greenery of all shapes and sizes are always welcome at the table.

More inspiration: Athena Calderone shares tips for styling decorative branches

3. Embrace Neutrals

Neutral colors combined with textural elements make for a simple-yet-welcoming table that’s lovingly full of life. It’s natural, simple, and full of timeless beauty.

4. Take It Outside

This may seem obvious, but setting your table outside is a lovely way to embrace nature’s beauty. Setting a table al fresco is one of the easiest ways to keep it simple while reaping the benefits of mother nature’s charming allure.

More inspiration: How Camille is styling her table for Mother’s Day

5. Mix and Match

Just because you’re going for simple doesn’t mean your table can’t be special. If you’re low on dinnerware or don’t have enough matching glasses, thrift for coordinating pieces that each bring their own character to the table (literally). The key is to be intentional—found objects shine when the tablescape feels cohesive.

6. Family-Style Dining

Everyone has their own style, but I’ve always preferred family-style dining for a celebratory occasion. If there’s not too much dishware to include, scatter your culinary offerings around and allow the food to naturally flow around the table right alongside the conversation.

7. Add Touches of Green

Pops of nature scattered throughout your table will evoke immediate garden party vibes. Opt for florals, small plants, or echo the color in your linens or dinnerware. It’s an easy way to make a basic table setting special.

8. Carafe Your Beverages

To save you time and effort in the long run, using carafes for the beverages you’re serving is a true savior. Whether it’s water, wine, or a fun cocktail, pouring your offerings into a carafe will keep you from worrying about refilling glasses throughout the meal. Plus, chic pitchers add shape and dimension to your table setting.

Casual Table Setting Ideas

9. Start With Linen

Laying the groundwork with a simple linen tablecloth is a casual-yet-elevated way to infuse natural elements into your table. Toss it over your table, bunch it up in places, and let nature take the reins.

10. Keep Place Settings Simple

Just because you have it in your inventory, each setting doesn’t need all the fanfare of a formal place setting. Keep it minimal to allow your pieces to showcase their beauty. This could be as simple as a salad and dinner plate, flatware, napkin, and a goblet that works equally well for water and wine.

11. Lean Into Scandi Vibes

If minimal-yet-cozy sounds up your alley, you can always turn to Scandinavian design inspo to lead the way. The key here is to think simple. Start with a simple linen tablecloth, neutral colors, and handmade ceramics, then let nature come through on its own. You’ll be amazed by the shining beauty inherent in a few simple wildflowers.

More inspiration: A Barcelona dinner party with Devon Liedtke

12. Keep It Earthy

Earthy elements are a soul-soothing way to infuse nature’s beauty into your table. Incorporating organic materials like rattan, wood, and other natural fibers can help balance your table with an easygoing feel. A natural and neutral placemat means you don’t have to waste a lot of time color-matching your table elements.

13. Utilize Recycled Glassware

Handmade recycled glassware is all the rage right now—both a win for the planet and your table’s look and feel. Its natural beauty and handmade touch is truly timeless and just plain gorgeous.

14. Don’t Leave Dessert Behind

For all the dedication you poured into them, you bet the desserts will be on display! Showcasing your desserts on the actual table is an appetizing preview of what’s to come later in the meal. We love creating varying heights with cake platters and display stands.

15. Keep It Light With Mezze

While you might not want to create a full-blown grazing board for a casual gathering, having something on the table—however small—for your guests to graze on is crucial. Try laying out some olives, sea salt, nuts, sliced fruit, cornichons, you name it. A little bite of something goes a long way.

16. Give Your Napkin a Twist

Twisting each napkin adds something interesting to the table that catches the eye much more than a flat, lifeless napkin that’s been pressed and folded. This isn’t your mother’s tabletop—we create our own rules here.

Formal Table Setting Ideas

17. Add An Edible Centerpiece

Cheese boards are not going anywhere anytime soon, which we can all agree is a blessing. Arranging a grazing board for your guests to snack on before/during the meal is a pro move that everyone will be thankful for. This is also a great opportunity to have your guests help out while having fun in the process! Once it’s done, you can place it smack dab in the center of the table. Cue the “oohs” and “aahs”.

18. Use Place Cards

Adding a personal touch to your table is something your guests will undoubtedly appreciate—not to mention how nice it is for them to know where to sit! These simple place cards made of rosemary sprigs are absolute stunners.

More inspiration: Camille’s modern holiday table

19. Find Your Favorite Flowers

Floral arrangements don’t have to be extravagant. Instead, why not gather a few of your favorite stems and place them in a vase you’re loving? It’s a simple way to elevate your table and make it feel more formal.

20. Layer Your Lights

Utilizing candles at different heights can elevate your table by adding a layering element and some simple variety. Height is huge here! While you should still be wary of placing candles that will obstruct the table view, a few different heights can make your table seem bigger and more inviting.

21. Play With Fruit

Weave a pop of color into your table with clementines, persimmons, tiny pumpkins, you name it. Each of these is a simple way to give your table some vibrancy.

More inspiration: An LA brunch with Sweet Laurel Bakery

22. Give Flameless Candles a Go

No one wants their tablecloth to walk away from a gathering covered in wax. The good thing is, thanks to modern technology and design, realistic flameless candles are out there! And they’re the real deal—trust me.

23. Weave In Dried Flowers

Dried flowers are still all the rage, and it’s no wonder why. They’re budget-friendly (as you can use them for multiple years), modern, and elevated. Mix them in with your fresh flowers, add them to their own vase, or simply scatter them about the table.

24. Keep Your Colors Cohesive

When it comes to coloring, creating a complementary scheme can help ensure you don’t have any clashing going on. Plus, intentionally mapping the color palette out beforehand makes the biggest difference in the end. It’s much more pleasing to the eye, and even makes things simpler for you to set up.

25. Have Fun With It!

At the end of the day, this is your table for your gathering in your home. There’s no strict rulebook you should be following other than your own intuition. A little extra something here or a pop of that there is just what you should be itching to include. These table-setting ideas are your starting point for igniting (or reigniting) an endless supply of decorative creativity. Use these as a guide to your very own tablescape and get to gathering!

Growing up, we gathered with family over dinners served on paper plates with plastic utensils. Parties were casual and relaxed (plus, no one wanted to do the dishes). But on holidays, our dinner party table settings were complete with seasonal plates, napkins, and cutlery—and my grandmother always insisted on eating at the formal dining table. It felt special—and it was.

Now, when I host a small group of friends or family, I love to pull out the good plates. I’m one of those old-fashioned gals who actually registered for wedding china, but mine isn’t gathering dust in a cabinet. It’s right there next to our everyday dinner plates. Now, whenever I set the table with those cherished pieces, the whole experience feels elevated—and just as special as my grandma’s table.

Featured image of Brian and Jessie De Lowe’s magic hour dinner party by Michelle Nash.

Image of Rebekah Peller’s Parisian dinner party by Joann Pai

And sure, the menu is where a dinner party begins—but the table setting is where it shines. A table is a blank slate. It’s an opportunity to get creative, bring in elements to complement the food, and truly delight your guests. Right about now you’re either feeling inspired or stressed, but I’ve got good news either way: we’re no strangers to dinner party table settings around here.

From Camille’s own hosting expertise to the tips we’ve collected from tastemakers along the way, you’re in the right place for a huge dose of dinner party inspiration. Gather ’round to spark your creativity (or just outright steal your favorite looks)—our best ideas are just ahead.

How do I set the table for a dinner party?

When it comes to dinner party table settings, you’ll likely want to opt for either a basic table setting or a casual table setting, depending on the scope of the meal. The biggest difference between the two is that a casual table often calls for more dishes than basic to account for the menu (a soup bowl or salad plate, for example). If you need a refresher, here’s exactly how to set the table, from basic gatherings all the way to formal affairs. But if you’ve got plates, flatware, and glasses, you’ve got a solid foundation for any dinner party. Now, let’s head into the inspiration.

1. Use a Linen Table Throw

Keep it casual by opting for a square throw over a more traditional tablecloth. Linen is naturally a bit wrinkly (so skip the ironing) and you can even ruffle it up a bit for a table that’s both rustic and stylish.

2. Put Out Place Cards

You don’t have to be a world-class caligrapher to create a worthy place card. Even the simplest place cards can make guests feel special and considered. I’ve used the backside of an index card or even cut-up cardstock envelopes in a pinch

More inspiration: A Barcelona dinner party with Devon Liedtke

3. Light Candles

It doesn’t get any simpler than this. Lighting candles is truly the easiest way to add instant ambiance. Dot the table runner with tea lights sitting in glasses or make a statement with tall candlesticks—you truly can’t go wrong.

More inspiration: A Greek-inspired bridal shower

4. Knot Oversized Napkins

When in doubt, grab a large square napkin and knot it loosely at the center. Place the napkin either directly on the plate or arrange it around the upper edge if there’s room on the table.

5. Choose Recycled Glassware

There’s something so perfect about recycled glassware for a less formal event. Perfect for water or even as wine glasses. Recycled glasses are unique and special—and decidedly unfussy.

6. Forage for a Seasonal Centerpiece

If you’ve got a yard, you’ve got a centerpiece waiting for you. Snip wildflowers for a group of small vases or grab some branches for a centerpiece that’s more elaborate. It’s an easy way to ground your dinner party in the season and bring in those natural elements that pair so well with a lovely meal.

More inspiration: A backyard brunch with Chef Camilla Marcus

7. Take it Outside

When the weather is right, a dinner party al fresco is a near-perfect option. And take it from us, it doesn’t have to be hard. Camille laid out all her tips to plan a stress-free outdoor party—décor included.

More inspiration: A Santa Barbara dinner party

8. Let Food Be the Décor

If you’re stuck on centerpiece ideas, let the food do the talking. No one will complain about a beautiful cheese board smack dab in the center of the table (and nothing to block their line of sight, at that).

More inspiration: A Beginner’s Guide to Building a Charcuterie Board

9. Use Fruit as a Centerpiece

Persimmons as a table runner? There’s something genuinely striking when an item is repeated over and over again—it just works. Opt for seasonal fruit and either line it down the table, dot them throughout or fill a bowl or two.

More inspiration: Brunch with the co-founder and CEO of Sweet Laurel Bakery

10. Add Cozy Throws or Blankets to the Chairs

Whether you suspect a draft or just want to up the cozy factor, drop some throws along the back of your guests’ chairs or add a wool rug to the bench.

More inspiration: A cozy girls’ gathering at home

11. Make it a Chic Buffet

Truth be told, you don’t always need a dinner party table setting to make it special. Stack the plates and lay out a drool-worthy buffet—it’s décor in and of itself.

More inspiration: This delightful Italian dinner party

12. Decorate with Complementary Colors

It’s a classic tip in the styling world for a reason. For a dinner party, we love choosing a main color and throwing in accents that complement from natural elements. Try it with oranges and limes on a blue linen throw or a pale green table topped with ripe strawberries or red peonies.

More inspiration: A Spain-inspired summer dinner party

13. Match the Flowers to the Food

Delight your guests with an understated color theme. Choose foliage that pairs with the menu and get ready to snap all the photos.

More inspiration: An outdoor afternoon lunch with cookbook author, Aran Goyoaga

14. Mix and Match the Tablecloths

There really are no rules when it comes to styling the table for a dinner party. Grab more than one tablecloth if the length of the table is too long—you can even use sheets or light blankets.

More inspiration: A magic hour gathering in Santa Barbara

15. Embrace Your Surroundings

The first step in planning a dinner party is the where. Maybe there’s a rooftop available or a patio, backyard, or cute tucked-away alley. Think outside the dining room!

More inspiration: An NYC rooftop dinner party

16. Play With Color

We’re known neutral lovers around here, but even we know that a little color can be downright fun. Up the playful vibes with mismatched furniture and bright tabletop pieces.

More inspiration: An Italian-themed dinner party, at a farm in Malibu

17. Use a Picnic Table

The humble picnic table can do a lot of things if styled well. Pop in a few pillows or blankets for texture and fill vessels with fresh blooms for the perfect mix of rustic and modern.

Now that the table is styled, time to plan the menu. Here are some recipes to feed a crowd for your next dinner party. Happy hosting!

Whether you’re a mom or a daughter, a grandmother, aunt, sister, or friend—Mother’s Day is a beautiful opportunity to celebrate the women in your life. It’s a day when I feel celebrated as a mother–but it’s also a time to show gratitude to my own mom and mother-in-law. And I can’t think of a better way to show my appreciation than by hosting a Mother’s Day brunch to celebrate—all of us!

Let’s be honest: moms are usually the ones that actually care about a beautifully set table, so it’s a perfect opportunity to be a bit more intentional with some simple Mother’s Day table decorations that will make her feel special. Scroll on for the all the inspiration from the table I set in my own backyard this year, along with simple Mother’s Day table ideas that will make your favorite women feel celebrated.

Here’s how to set a table for a simple and special Mother’s Day gathering:

Choose a decor theme

Hear me out: I’m definitely not a fan of cheesy party themes. But it can really help your decor process if you come up with a simple concept to tie the elements together. Here are a few ideas for Mother’s Day table themes that are chic, not corny:

Farmer’s market-inspired

Use fresh spring produce to decorate the table. An overflowing bowl of spring veggies, simple and sculptural artichoke hearts, or even cut citrus fruit can be a beautiful theme that ties it together.

Vintage vibes

Get inspired by her favorite decade and let it guide each element of your table design.

Pick a palette

A “theme” can be as simple as choosing a color combination and letting it guide every element of your table design, from food to flowers to place settings. I typically choose just two colors and use them throughout, for max impact with minimal effort.

Her favorite travel destination

Whether it’s Santa Fe, Paris, or anywhere with sun and sand, let her favorite getaway inspire the menu and decor.

Lay the foundation with linen and beautiful dinnerware

The quickest way to elevate any Mother’s Day table is to lay down a beautiful linen tablecloth and set the table with your prettiest dishes.

Here are my favorite products for setting the Mother’s Day table:

Blanco Stoneware Pitcher

Every table needs a simple white pitcher, and this one is sized perfectly for water, cocktails, lemonade—it’s the versatile pitcher you’ll reach for all the time. I love the handcrafted nature of this pitcher, as the unique variations make it feel really special.

Recycled Glass Tumbler

These handblown recycled glasses elevate anything you drink from them. Made in Oaxaca, these tumblers are dishwasher safe and super durable, and lend a relaxed, organic vibe to the Mother’s Day table. Sized perfectly for water, wine, or cocktails, I also love to fill them with votive candles or small blooms as a simple centerpiece.

Canyon Dinner Plates

These oversized stoneware dinner plates are made in Mexico, and their neutral palette and organic shape make them feel versatile enough for any occasion, but are especially perfect for setting the Mother’s Day table. Made of high-temperature glazed ceramic, this is dinnerware that you’ll keep forever—and I love that it’s dishwasher-safe.

Linen Table Throw

This casual 100% linen tablecloth adds texture and warmth to the Mother’s Day table. These are made in Lithuania, and the square size makes it versatile enough to use on square, round, or rectangular-shaped tables. It’s machine-washable, and I tend to embrace the linen’s natural wrinkles for a look that’s (perfectly) imperfect.

Creative Mother’s Day centerpiece ideas

When it comes to Mother’s Day table decorations, a beautiful centerpiece is usually in the mix—but it doesn’t have to be pricey or elaborate. Here are a few of my favorite simple centerpiece ideas for any spring gathering:

Fill a vase with daisies or chamomile flowers.

These inexpensive blooms can be found at just about any grocery store—I usually grab them in Trader Joe’s floral section. They’re happy, timeless, and instantly make any table feel bright and spring-y.

Decorate with seasonal produce.

I love this alternative to a traditional floral centerpiece. It’s simple, affordable, and takes zero floral arranging skills. Plus, you can eat the produce when it’s done serving its decor purpose, making it a zero-waste solution.

Fill a bowl with lemons

This easy breezy centerpiece is created from ingredients you probably have from the grocery store! Just fill a pretty bowl with lemons, limes, or any other citrus fruit. Tuck in a few herb sprigs for a pretty touch of green.

Add a few votives for sparkle.

Nothing beats the magical glow and flattering light of candles, so even for a daytime gathering, I love to scatter a few votive candles down the center of the table as a final touch.

Unique ideas for Mother’s Day place settings

Now that you’ve got the tablecloth on and the centerpiece set, it’s time to add a special touch to each place setting. Here are some simple and budget-friendly ideas to add a decorative twist to each place.

Tie a knot with your linen napkin

Elaborate napkin folds are a “no” for me, but I love the carefree look of a simple linen napkin, knotted and placed loosely on top of each plate.

Tuck in some fresh herbs or flowers

It doesn’t get simpler than adding a sprig or a small bunch of fresh herbs to each place setting. I like to use the woodier herbs for this, like rosemary, thyme, oregano, and sage. Bonus points for making the table smell delicious!

Add a potted succulent

This cute idea for setting the Mother’s Day table provides a place setting and party favor in one. Just pickup some tiny succulent plants from your local nursery, add them to a small terra cotta pot or a teacup, and place on top of each napkin. Guests can take them home at the end of the gathering as a lovely reminder of the day.

Take a walk down memory lane

Print out a few favorite photos of your mom (or any women of honor in attendance) and scatter them around the table, or place on top of each napkin. It feels so personal, and is a great conversation starter to inspire walks down memory lane.

Add place cards

Although by no means required, a simple handwritten place card is a simple way to add a thoughtful touch to each setting. I especially love a place card for larger gatherings, as it removes any confusion about where to sit, and allows me to be intentional with who I sit next to one another.

Leave a sweet memento

Stock up on inexpensive muslin or linen bags from Etsy, then tuck in something special for each guest. I filled these with herb-infused bath salts, to inspire a moment of self-care.

***

Hope you loved these Mother’s Day table decoration ideas—be sure to tag us on Instagram to show how you set the table for Mother’s Day this year!

When it comes to hosting a gathering, a few things are non-negotiable. Your favorite people, good conversation, and a menu everyone will remember. But every meal is an opportunity to set the table with intention—even a casual Tuesday night dinner. When we sit down to eat with friends or family, we’re nourishing many different parts of ourselves. We’re satiating our hunger, satisfying our desire for connection, and allowing all of our different senses to be soothed at once.

As one of my favorite writers, M.F.K. Fisher so elegantly said, “Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.”

But we understand too, that when it comes to knowing how to set a table, all the many different etiquette rules and occasions can send your head spinning. And yes, all manner of questions abound. I’m throwing a casual dinner party—how do I fold the napkins? Is there any way I can make my everyday dinners with toddlers feel a little more elegant? Where the heck do I put the salad fork?

Featured image by Michelle Nash.

1 of 16

Soup spoons versus dessert spoons and white wine glasses versus red. Your hand goes to place the drinkware with trepidation… Now, is it to the right of the water glass or the left? We’ve been there more times than we can count, and while there are plenty of “rules” to remember, we can appreciate the guidance. Because when it comes to setting the table in style, what’s the point of having beautiful pieces if you can’t let them shine in all their glory?

That’s the fun—and perhaps the beauty—of etiquette. While some may be quick to write it off as antiquated or irrelevant, we like to lean on convention for guidance and inspiration. But, of course, we’re always ones to bend the rules a bit to create space for our creativity. Setting the table is an exercise in balance, after all.

Why It’s Important to Set the Table

Setting the table is akin to getting dressed even when you work from home. It brings intentionality into your day, helping you transition from one moment to inhabiting the energy of the next. And to be clear, the table doesn’t have to match the meal. We love up-leveling the impact of a meal-prepped dinner or leftovers with a freshly-picked bouquet from the farmer’s market or breaking out your best china when friends come over for a meal.

That’s part of making every day a celebration: understanding that when we direct our energy to what’s important, the residual magic is more impactful than we could at first believe.

How to Set a Table: 3 Table Settings for all Occasions

If you’re ready to learn how to set the table for everyday dinners, casual gatherings, and formal affairs alike, keep reading—this guide has you covered.

2 of 16

Basic Table Setting

Our weeknight evening meals can often take place in a frenzy. If you’re the parents of littles, then you know that the shuffle from school to sports to pick-up can be a lot. And getting dinner on the table is a feat in and of itself. This is not the time to go over the top (if you even have the energy to consider doing so… ). Instead, we’re keeping things simple and streamlined. For a basic table setting, all you’ll need is a placemat, flatware, a dinner plate, drinking glass, and a napkin.

If you want to—and have the time to—make this meal a little more special, pop a seasonal bundle of flowers in your cart when you do your dinner shopping. Even just a single stem in a bud vase surrounded by a few tea lights can go a long way.

Basic Table Setting Instructions

Just because we’re keeping things basic doesn’t mean you can’t infuse a little personality into your set-up. We love incorporating accents of color here and there with whatever is in our linen drawer. This is not the time to stress over matching sets.

1. Cover the table as you see fit. Placemats keep things clean and easy, especially if you’re dining with littles. However, we also love the look of a breezy cotton or linen tablecloth draped over the table. A machine-washable cotton or linen tablecloth means you can throw it in the laundry right after dinner.
2. Set your dinner plate in the middle of the table setting or placemat. No charger needed.
3. Lay the napkin to the left of your dinner plate. When it comes to a basic table setting, you can either go with this option or place the napkin on top of the dinner plate for a little elegant flair. Bonus points if you incorporate an accent color that’ll pop off your dinner plate.
4. Set your flatware. Place the fork to the left of your dinner plate (on your napkin), the knife to the right of your dinner plate, and the spoon to the right of your knife.
5. Set the water glass. Your glass goes in the top right corner of your setting, above the knife.

Casual Table Setting

Casual gatherings are centered around intimacy. Versus a more formal affair, you’re likely to have fewer guests—and more often than not, diners who are well-acquainted with one another. Even if that isn’t the case, a casual setting allows you to experiment and explore your own creativity when it comes to the table, adding detail where inspiration calls. Whether it be a custom printed menu, a DIY floral arrangement, or a creative napkin display, know that just because you’re going laid-back doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun.

With the exception of a few added layers and flourishes, the casual table setting closely mimics the basic setup. However, you may be serving multiple courses during this meal. In that case, you’ll want to incorporate a soup bowl and a salad plate into your setting. As a rule of thumb, only set out the dishes, flatware, and glasses that your menu calls for. There’s no need to go above and beyond (worse comes to worst, it’ll just confuse your guests!).

As for the charger (the decorative plate serving as the base of your dinnerware), you can either opt in or out for a casual place setting. The charger is generally reserved for more formal tables, but if you’d like to accent your plating with one, go ahead. Just be sure to use more laid-back materials, such as rattan or wood.

Casual Table Setting Instructions

1. Set a linen tablecloth or placemats. In the case of a casual table setting, we prefer a linen tablecloth. But it’s all up to your own design preferences—elegant placemats can work just as well.
2. Lay a dinner plate in the middle of each setting. Next, layer on a salad plate. If you’re serving a soup course, set the soup bowl on top.
3. Get creative with your napkins and flatware. The general rules of a basic table setting apply here—go to the left of or on top of your dinner plate with the napkin and your flatware follows suit. However, if you want to change things up and get creative, we love napkins on top of your plates and bundling flatware in drinking glasses. A natural flourish like an herb spring or seasonal flower is a nice accent on top of your napkin.
4. Place your water and wine glass. The water glass is in the top right corner of your setting, with your wine glass placed beside and a little up of it. If you’re serving red and white, use both glasses. If not, use just whatever you’re serving.

Formal Table Setting

When it comes to setting a formal table, remember: formal does not equate to stuffy. While it might be the most nerve-wracking of the occasions presented here—formal gatherings often mean a multi-course meal, accompanied by different wine pairings—you’re more than welcome to add a little flair to your table. You may be tempted to opt for matching elements, but we encourage whimsy and bringing an eclectic feel to the setting. This can be achieved through vintage pieces, mismatching wares, and thrifted designs you’ve collected over the years. Just because it’s a formal affair doesn’t mean you can’t weave interest and originality into your table.

Formal Table Setting Instructions

1. Opt for a tablecloth. The formal table setting is all about setting a strong, design-forward foundation for the elements to come. A single-toned tablecloth creates a clean landscape for the other components you’ll use to build your tablescape. And to be clear: there’s no need for a perfectly-starched tablecloth. We love the look of little natural texture brings to the table.
2. Start with your centerpiece. If you’re using a longer table, go low and long with your centerpiece. Incorporate seasonal fruits, flowers, and herbs to bring color and interest to the table. We love adding a few tea lights for ambiance. The cardinal rule of centerpieces? Be sure guests can see over it and can speak to diners across the table comfortably.
3. Lay a charger at every seating. A charger adds layered interest to the table design and creates a natural center point for the multiple plates and bowls a formal setting requires.
4. Layer your plates. While you can certainly lay your bread and butter and salad plates to the left of the dinner plate, a formal gathering will likely mean more guests. If that’s the case, and if you want to create added dimension with height, layer your plates in the following order: the dinner plate, followed by the salad plate, the soup bowl (if serving a soup course), and then the bread plate on top.
5. Lay a napkin to the left of the charger. To spread your setting horizontally, begin building it outwards by placing the napkin to the left of your dinner plate and charger.
6. Add your flatware. Your dinner fork will go to the left of your plate, followed by the salad fork. To the right of your plate, place your knife, with the spoon on the outside. Lay your dessert spoon horizontally above the plates.
7. Incorporate place cards. Place cards are a great way to use more of your creative flair. Opt for any seasonal or evergreen design you’d like or keep it simple by folding a small square of card stock in half and writing the guest’s name in legible script, placing it facing their chair. This is not only a great way for guests to find their seats, but to learn the names of those sitting around them.
8. Finish off with drinkware. The same rules apply as with the casual table setting. Place the water glass above the dinner knife, with the white wine glass to its right and the red wine glass above, forming a triangle.

The day before the backyard lunch that we were set to photograph at Camilla Marcus’ house in LA, the chef and founder still hadn’t decided what to make. “I’ll let you know after I go to the market,” read her text, and though this type of down-to-the-minute planning might have made me slightly nervous with any other interview subject, I knew: Camilla had it covered.

This easygoing, highly-intuitive approach to cooking is what defines Camilla’s food, along with her deep appreciation for seasonality and local farmers. And it forms the bedrock of west~bourne, the direct-to-consumer food brand she founded last year which makes “feel good provisions” inspired by California’s bounty. Though I’ve known Camilla for a few years, this shoot would be my first chance to see and taste her cooking up close, and I couldn’t wait to spend the afternoon in her sunshine-filled Los Angeles home surrounded by the spoils of her market run. And I was dying to find out where she’d landed on the menu.

Watch the video from our garden-to-table lunch with Camilla:

But first, a few things you should know. During the pandemic, Camilla and her family moved from New York City, where she owned a restaurant (also called West-bourne), to sunny Los Angeles where they bought and renovated a home, launched west~bourne as her sustainable food brand, and gave birth to their third child. It’s been a busy couple years, but Camilla’s passion for her newest labor of love is evident, and her dedication to making an impact is real. About the company, she said:

west~bourne is on a mission to empower us all to cure the climate crisis through food. We know what works—regenerative farming can have one of the largest impacts on climate change, and the land revolution in our country is already under way with 500 million acres moving towards regenerative practices.

It’s a passion that Camilla brings to everything she does, and I’m continually inspired by the way she lives boldly and authentically. Scroll on for my interview with Camilla, scenes from our lunch in the garden, and all the recipes for the delicious spring menu she prepared for us.

About her west coast life and home

How did you find your home? Did you renovate?

Our home is so special to us—the first we’ve ever really had.  Until this point, we’ve rented and moved just about every two years since being together over the last two decades.  We had a friend who lived on the block that mentioned he heard his neighbors might be moving out of their old ranch style on a large lot. We went immediately to visit, and it turned out that the owner was a friend of dear friends of ours from New York. 

I was nine months pregnant and on the brink of having my daughter, and though it felt like an overwhelming process to buy our first house and prepare to renovate it, everything fell into place so naturally. I believe in signs and that the universe activates when we are ready.  So, it was kismet from the start. 

We did quite a lot to the house.  It had beautiful bones, and we wanted to bring it back to honor its 1951 mid century modern roots. The house wraps around nature, so it’s all about bringing the outdoors in and having a very meditative vibe throughout.  My favorite part is our garden and chicken coop.  We spend a tremendous amount of time as a family out there, talking to our ladies, teaching our kids about growing our own food, and harvesting our amazing bounty for our meals.

What does a typical day look like at home?

Every day is a new one—there’s definitely no ‘typical’ in my life.  I live blended not balanced. 

I wake up around 7:30am and have some cuddles with our dog first.  Then I brush my teeth, and we go to wake up our kids.  The mornings are sacred time for us as a family.  We have a milk and cuddle party, and they all help each other get changed and ready to make breakfast together.  My son especially loves to cook, so usually my two older kids will help me with breakfast while my husband makes coffee for us.  

I only drink one cup a day, so it’s a core ritual to make coffee on our beloved La Marzocco machine, usually with a splash of Rainbo 11:11 extract for an extra brain boost.

We sit down together to talk about the day, set some intentions, and to make sure everyone knows where we all will be. 

Camilla’s approach to hosting and gatherings

What does a great gathering look like to you?

Quality time is my love language, so it’s sacred to me to find ways to forge connection and community.  I love to bring guests into the gathering, whether that’s bringing a dish, helping with a playlist, or sharing their favorite local produce with someone else. I also always strive for an element of surprise, bringing together people who don’t know one another, providing space to feature someone’s talents, doing a shared activity to learn a new skill, or even introducing a new product or food. 

Curiosity can open our minds and lead to a more meaningful exchange of ideas and intentions. 

Pink Radicchio Salad with Blood Oranges and Hazelnuts

Einkorn Salad with Charred Squash

Pluot Galette with Creme Fraiche

What scares you about entertaining?

Nothing. Truly, it’s in my soul to bring people together and craft unique experiences. I love every aspect of it, and even welcome the unpredictability and logistics that go along with it.

What are your signature dishes for gatherings?

I actually love to cook something new every time if I can, and I often have never made exactly what I serve before.  I think I love the thrill of a challenge and discovery that makes the experience of cooking for me come alive and where I learn the most.  It adds more pressure to execution, but playing jazz in the kitchen if you will for me infuses vibrancy and surprise that just can’t be scripted and a soul that I think you can taste even if you can’t put your finger quite on it.

Get the recipe for Camilla’s Pink Radicchio Salad with Blood Oranges and Hazelnuts.

How do you approach creating a guest list?

I have an eclectic group of friends and always like to mash groups up, plus throw in some visitors from out of town and total strangers.  I am the queen of the cold call and am never shy to reach out to someone who I have admired or am inspired by and invite them over to a gathering.

What are your tips for making guests feel at ease?

If the host is at ease, guests will be too.  I also feel it’s important to integrate guests into the experience, even in a small way.  It’s easy to be relaxed when you are part of the creation too.

Favorite conversation starter or question to get to know someone?

What’s on your travel bucket list?

The perfect dinner party playlist includes:

A track from each guest.  That always gets the music going on an unexpected journey.

What are some products you love for the table?

Textiles:

Ceramics:

• KH Wurtz
• Mondays in Brooklyn
• Robert Siegel Ceramics

Vases, cutting boards, and stone platforms from Olive Ateliers

Vintage candleholders (I prefer a mix and match)

Vintage flatware, or second hand Jean Dubost Laguiole

Go-to centerpiece solution:

I love bringing together pieces from around the house – jars, vessels, cups and objects – mixed in with fresh produce and foraged foliage.  It’s a mindful way to bring a unique look, welcoming imperfection and inviting nature to the table. 

What is your no-stress party rule to live by? 

The vibe of any event emanates from the host.  If you’re having fun and relaxed, so will everyone else. 

Get the recipe for this Einkorn Salad with Charred Squash.

Dream dinner guests?

• Ruth Bader Ginsburg
• Ina Garten
• Albert Einstein
• Otis Redding

On seasonal cooking

What informs your approach to food?

For me it’s all about cooking holistically to nourish yourself and our planet. What’s good for our soil is always better for our health.

Get the recipe for the Pluot Galette with Creme Fraiche.

What’s your must-have cooking tool and why?

A mandolin is such an easy and inexpensive way to elevate your cooking and plating.  Having a shaved element always evokes restaurant quality and creates something different for your dish.

Tell us a few things we’ll always find in your refrigerator? 

We always have preserved lemons, pickled shallots, cholulah, fermented hot sauce, roasted sesame dressing, white miso, white moustache yogurt, zab’s hot mustard, parmesan, creme fraiche, ghia, kimchi, overnight oats, fresh eggs from our chickens.

Fill in the blank:

A perfect meal should … nourish.

It’s not a dinner party without … interested people.

Every cook should know how to … join the meal with joy.

When the second week of February rolls around each year, Adam and I inevitably look at each other a little bewildered and ask “So… what should we do for Valentine’s Day?” Most of the traditional ideas can feel a little cheesy (not to mention overpriced), so I’m always on the hunt for unexpected Valentine’s Day date ideas that will still feel romantic and special.

I remember the first year we celebrated Valentine’s Day as a couple, we cooked a really fancy dinner at Adam’s place complete with steak and chocolate soufflés, and it was so memorable that we’ve tried to do something outside the box every year since. Whether you’re coupled up or single, keep scrolling for 29 unique ideas that will ensure your Valentine’s Day is actually fun, with no clichés in sight.

Featured image of Rebekah Peppler’s Parisian dinner party by Joann Pai.

1 of 7

29 Unique Valentine’s Day Date Ideas to Try This Year

1. Find and go to a drive-in concert. Bonus points for dressing up and bringing your own lawn chairs and snacks.

2. Create a private movie theater in your house with a projector and screen a romantic movie. Just add popcorn, Raisinets, and two pairs of cozy socks.

3. Go roller skating. Or ice skating. The goal here is to channel your favorite hand-holding scene in just about every classic rom-com.

4. Host a karaoke night in your living room. This personally sounds like my vision of hell, but I know it’s right up some of your alleys. Plus, if you were born with the voice of an angel, this could be a great strategy for making them fall in love with you on the spot. If you want to be super professional with it, check out this Wireless Bluetooth Karaoke Mic.

5. Take an early morning hike to watch the sunrise. I know, I know—sounds kind of painful. But there’s nothing more magical than watching the sun come up. Plus, getting up that early to break a sweat is a total bonding experience.

2 of 7

6. Take a virtual cooking class. Bonding over pots of marinara and pans of tiramisu? Sign me up!

7. Put together care packages for the homeless. Stuff paper bags or shoe boxes with food, water, socks, hand wipes, etc. and keep them in your cars for the next time you drive past someone in need. It’s pretty cool to see your S.O. serving others and sacrificing their free time for a worthy cause. You’ll likely fall in love with each other all over again.

8. Host an at-home art night. Whether this means sketching in an adult coloring book, making a collage of your favorite photos together, or streaming an artist’s documentary, get your creative juices flowing.

9. Schedule a tasting at a winery or brewery. While we did this virtually during the pandemic, there’s nothing better than taking an excursion to your favorite spots. Or, if you want a more low-key experience at home, buy three bottles of wine: one that is $25, one that is $15, and one that is $10. Cover the bottles in foil and mix them around, then try to guess which is which! It’s pretty surprising sometimes.

10. Pick up your favorite take-out and drive to a scenic location for stargazing. When was the last time you and your S.O. really looked at the stars together? There’s something about gazing at the nighttime sky that is such a reminder of the vastness of the universe—and how lucky you are to have found each other in it.

3 of 7

11. Take a “staycation” at a favorite local hotel. I think every couple should splurge once in a while and spend the night away, even when a full-blown vacation isn’t in the cards. Order room service, watch a movie, jump in the hot tub, and sleep in.

12. Take a virtual dance class. Check out YouTube instructors that offer salsa or swing instruction. Perfect your dance moves for the next time you go to a wedding or a country bar.

13. Recreate your first date. For Adam and me, this would involve a dive-y Chinese restaurant, Peking Duck, and one too many glasses of chardonnay. If you’ve been together a long time, you’ll undoubtedly have fun laughing about those early days, and it may even be a valuable reminder of why you fell so deeply in love in the first place. Be creative about how to recreate your dates at home! Pick up takeout from the restaurant, dim the lights, use tablecloths, or any unique aspects that a specific restaurant has.

4 of 7

14. Pack a picnic and bike ride to somewhere special together. There is something so special about riding bikes together to a special spot to indulge in a picnic together. Pack your favorite cheeses with dips and snacks in a picnic basket—don’t forget the bottle of wine!

15. Explore a local bookstore. You don’t have to be a bookworm for this to be a best-ever date (although, bonus points if you are). Head out and browse the stacks! Select a read for yourself or pick one for your partner. When you get home, curl up on the couch and read side-by-side. Nothing like a little literature to set the mood.

16. Make breakfast in bed. Nothing beats feeding each other bites of pancakes while you’re snuggled under the covers. Whether you want something healthy and vibrant or are craving your favorite comfort food (again, pancakes), as long as you’re getting in the kitchen together and sharing a meal, you really can’t go wrong with this date.

17. Travel by train. This idea might be a little more involved, but it’s nothing a little planning can’t make happen. Train travel lets you take in your surrounding sights in the most relaxing way possible. You don’t even have to set out with a specific destination in mind—it’s all about the journey.

5 of 7

18. Theme your date night. Date nights are great and all, but when you center it around a specific theme, you can immerse yourself in a whole new experience. And of course, nothing says romance like a little jaunt to France. Want all the Parisian vibes without having to get on a plane? Make a playlist of all your favorite French music, plan out a French-ified menu, and transform your dining room into the chicest French restaurant, no matter where you are.

19. Make a vision board. Sharing your dreams and setting the foundation for future plans to come is the ultimate way to connect. You can each create your own vision board or collaborate on one together. It’s a fun and inspiring process, and can guide conversations for what you each want for yourselves and your shared goals as a couple. For steps on how to get started, check out our guide to vision boarding.

20. Camp it up. While a get-lost-in-the-woods date can be just the adventure many of us are looking for, there are others who’d rather camp out in the living room. Whether you were a scout in a past life or have never spent a night in the great outdoors, there are plenty of ways to tailor this date for a magical evening (hello, glamping). Just don’t forget the marshmallows.

6 of 7

21. Ask questions designed to build intimacy. This list of 32 questions was written specifically to help deepen your relationship. Because as the author, Nihel, writes: “With the right mindset, intention, and questions, setting aside these special moments can deepen your love and bring a fresh and renewed perspective to your relationship.”

22. Read your favorite “Modern Love” stories. Who else skims the Sunday paper’s ‘Style’ section for these vignettes of real-life romance and heartbreak? If you’re already a fan, help your partner get on board. Pick an essay from their archives and take turns reading them aloud to each other. You’ll get a glimpse into a life unlike your own, as each story is a window into unique perspectives on, and experiences with, love.

23. Get competitive. Game night anyone? Care to challenge your S.O. to a round of tennis? Whatever your competition of choice, pick it and gear up! There’s nothing like a little healthy competition to set the sparks flying.

24. Bake a new recipe together. PSA: Valentine’s Day dessert doesn’t have to involve chocolate. In fact, some of the best draw upon unique flavors and clever spins on classics. The Kitchn has you covered with its list of 40+ delicious desserts.

25. Recreate each other’s favorite cocktails/mocktails. Even if you don’t consider yourself a mixologist, you can have a little fun getting creative at your home bar. Ask (or guess!) each other’s favorite drinks and make them at home. It’s a kind gesture that will make them—and you—feel seen in your tastes and preferences.

7 of 7

26. Play Esther Perel’s conversation game, “Where Should We Begin?” We counted down the days until the famed psychotherapist released her conversation deck. With prompts like “Share something that’s changed your worldview” and questions that ask you to share what’s been keeping you up at night, trust that there’s no holding back. Pick up your copy here.

27. Write a letter to your S.O. for them to open next year. Who wouldn’t love receiving a letter that took you back to where your relationship was the year prior? Reflect on your feelings, thoughts, and what you love most about them in this moment. It’s a touching gesture and one that you’re both likely to keep stored in your dressers forever.

28. Find out each other’s enneagram. If you haven’t heard, intentional personality tests are back. (Key word being “intentional”—there’s nothing hokey about them.) Discovering each other’s enneagrams is an eye-opening way to dive deeper into what makes your partner tick. Learn more about the enneagram—and what it says about your personality—here.

29. … or uncover your love languages. If you haven’t done a deep dive yet, understanding the love languages (and knowing which best describes you and your partner) sheds insight into you each give and receive love. We share everything you need to know about love languages here.

This post was originally published on February 9, 2020, and has since been updated.

Emily Post’s presence was felt throughout my childhood home (my mom displayed her etiquette bible proudly on our bookshelf). From how we set the table to dinner party etiquette to the respect we showed one another—these “rules” guided much of my younger life. They’ve also played a key role in who I’ve grown up to be. Yes, while you might be rolling your eyes at the idea of etiquette—and an elementary-age girl taking so much interest in the subject—it’s back in a big way. And because we’re all craving more gatherings, connection, and togetherness in 2023, knowing your dinner party etiquette is more important now than ever.

Featured image by Michelle Nash.

1 of 7

Dinner Party Etiquette: Everything You Need to Know for 2023

In the words of etiquette expert Heather Wiese, etiquette “is a path to compassion, consideration, and even empathy.” When posited that way, how could you not see the need for more etiquette in our world today?

To get a better idea of what’s expected of us (both as guests and as hosts), I chatted with Heather about all things etiquette. We spoke about what the concept means in 2023, how to navigate hostess gifts for every occasion, and the complex matter of dietary preferences. Be sure to read to the end—Heather’s sharing what’s in and what’s out for perfecting your dinner party etiquette.

2 of 7

“Etiquette” in this day and age can seem outdated. What does it mean for you in 2023?

This is a great question. What’s outdated about etiquette is the idea that etiquette is outdated. I love that there’s a new buzz around reformatting our ideas and ideals of protocol. Behavior is the elephant in the room no one can avoid. We all might as well harness it and learn to handle it well. Modern etiquette guidelines are the tools you need to realize what isn’t typically obvious to you. Frankly, these revelations make the difference between being perceived as gracious and impressive or possibly lacking in an ability to relate or conduct yourself well in a given situation.

3 of 7

How can etiquette be used as a tool to help us act more respectfully and thoughtfully toward others?

Reprogram your idea of etiquette. It’s a word many of us need to reconsider and redefine in our minds in order to see its real value. If you use etiquette to feel more elite or one-up someone, you’ve missed the boat completely (and you can assume everyone saw the big splash into a self-absorbed abyss). Etiquette is a path to compassion, consideration, and even empathy when used as intended.

Reprogram your idea of etiquette. It’s a word many of us need to reconsider and redefine in our minds in order to see its real value.

4 of 7

What are some good examples of host gifts to bring to a dinner party? Do you always have to bring a gift?

The key phrase here was “dinner party.” Yes—always contribute. If you’re helping with the dinner itself, there might be something small in addition you can bring that says, “I appreciate you hosting.” However, when you’re arriving as a carefree guest being served, a modest but thoughtful gift is a big YES.

I’ll give you a few scenarios from my past few weeks. Over the holiday, I was invited to my parents’ friends for a casual dinner and football-watching. They made dinner. He has a wine collection I’d be intimidated to grace with my last-minute local purchase. Instead, I brought a pretty desk calendar from my collection.

There really are only two rules: consider the host, contribute something material in some way.

I’ve picked up some funny cocktail napkins, a nice candle, and some gourmet chocolates on different occasions for similar parties. Last week I was invited to the home of someone I don’t know well. I had no idea of their style. I grabbed a gift tag from my stash and a fresh orchid on the way to the dinner party. Last night I headed out last-minute to a friend’s house for an impromptu dinner. I grabbed a bottle of wine from my stash so I didn’t show up empty-handed. There really are only two rules: consider the host, contribute something material in some way.

5 of 7

Dietary preferences are so common these days. What are some ways to navigate this as a guest? What about if you’re the host?

If you’re the guest and you have true dietary restrictions, you’ve been doing this dance far longer than any of us have been commenting on the subject. I commend you for showing up and doing what you can to be social and relatively discrete with a difficult situation. Everyone I’ve encountered with these issues has always handled it so well. They contact the host ahead, sometimes bring their own food, and put everyone at ease as they navigate their critical musts. Seeing this done graciously is truly impressive.

Hosts, it’s always good to ask if anyone has any dietary limitations and if you’re feeling accommodating if anyone has any preferences—although the latter is not necessary. If you do have someone who requires special food handling, ask their advice and take it. Take it as a chance to learn from someone’s experiences.

6 of 7

It’s 2023—what’s in and what’s out in the world of dinner party etiquette?

What’s in:

1. Good manners and thoughtfulness. Knowing how to set the table isn’t out of style by any means. If you’re truly into entertaining, knowing some modern trends to offer up is always good.
2. Know the source. Growing sustainably, responsibly, locally—these are all growing in popularity and they are great dinner party conversation. Be ready for interesting meals that bring conversation to the table.
3. Mocktails. That’s right! They aren’t just for moms-to-be anymore. Creative juices and flavor are flowing and so fun to make. There’s now a trendy take on being healthier, pacing yourself better, or simply avoiding alcohol altogether.
4. Mushrooms, roots, and foraging. Unique fruits aren’t out altogether, but the earthy elements and backwoods fare are having their day.
5. Experiences. Maybe it’s because we’re all out of our cages with a new view on life and friends and celebrating. Whatever the reason, planning out themes, bringing in a pro, or creating an experiential environment is definitely having a moment.
6. Etiquette! No, really. People are arming themselves with civility and modern manners for no other reason, just to have an enjoyable night away from the norm. Come looking educated in this little movement with questions to make conversation like: How do you know the host? How do you like to spend your free time? Do you get to travel or if you could, where would you love to go? Are you watching a good series or reading a good book?

What’s out:

In general, a dinner party is about people gathering and having a great time. These are the buzz-kills you should always avoid, especially now.

1. Bringing bought food when everyone else has contributed a homemade dish.
2. Bringing your complaints or divisive conversations to the party.
3. Cooking with canned, preservative-loaded foods.
4. Talking to only the people you know and not asking questions to learn about new subjects or people (it’s just a few hours, you can do it!).
5. Bringing up how much something costs or how much someone, including yourself, makes.
6. Arriving early. Give your hosts time to do their thing. Don’t show up early and cut their timeline short.
7. Arriving fashionably rudely late. Let’s be real, dinner parties aren’t business meetings—unless they sort-of are. A good guideline is 5-10 min grace from the host’s recommended start time.

There are countless ways to ring in the New Year. You can get dressed up and go out for a night with the gang. You can book an enviable spot at one of your city’s best restaurants. Or, if you’re like me and don’t want to change out of your sweats (your stylish sweats, mind you), you’re staying home this NYE. To help all of us homebodies celebrate the countdown to midnight, I’ve rounded up the best New Year’s Eve party ideas for an unforgettable night at home.

While the night-in option may have once brought on feelings of FOMO, I haven’t worried about missing out since before March 2020. Sure, a few minutes scrolling through social media might make me wish I had a big trip or night out planned. But I’ve been working hard to cultivate a sense of confidence in my decisions to do what’s best for me. That means releasing the pressure for my New Year’s Eve to be *amazing.* Instead, I’m celebrating exactly how I want to: at home and inspired by one of these ideas below. 

Featured image by Michelle Nash.

15 New Year’s Eve Party Ideas at Home That Are Just as Good as Going Out

Because staying in for the night doesn’t have to feel like a consolation prize. If anything, spending what’s arguably the most celebrated night of the year chez toi, is a testament to how we’ve learned to get creative and have fun in the comfort of our homes. Whether you’re wanting to get in the kitchen, spend all night marathoning must-watch movies, or getting cozy with friends, let the following ideas remind you that there’s no such thing as being bored at home. Especially on New Year’s Eve.

2 of 9

Throw an Elegant Dinner Party

Never a bad idea for New Year’s Eve. This is a great option if you still want to get dressed up but don’t want to deal with the hassle of going out (too cold, too expensive, too… not my house). And just because it’s elegant doesn’t mean that the preparation has to be hard. DIY a few arrangements (Trader Joe’s is my go-to for florals on the fly), scatter some tea lights throughout your space and set your dream tablescape. And while you’re welcome to make a three-course meal on your own, it’s also totally fine if you want to order in from your favorite fancy restaurant.

Settle in for a Spa Night With Your Girls

A different sort of indulgence. In 2023, I’m focused on consistent self-care, and there’s no better way to set that intention in motion than with a dedicated spa night. Ask everyone to bring their favorite nail polish colors and gather all your supplies for manicures, pedicures, and more. An easy way to step (literally) into the New Year feeling your best.

3 of 9

Make All Your Favorite Comfort Foods

New Year’s Eve is about indulgence, and it’s not a party without your favorite foods. Hosting a couple of friends for the evening? Settle on a few recipes in advance (the cheesier, the better, in my opinion) and get in the kitchen together. If it’s a larger fête you’re after, make it a potluck! Ask guests to bring their ride-or-die comfort food (mine’s mashed potatoes) and add to the feast. You might want to include a pre-midnight nap in your party plans

Set Up a Campsite Indoors

Make the most of the great indoors! Gather your camping equipment (tent, sleeping bags, etc.) and settle in for the coziest evening ever. Short a tent or two? Make like The Holiday and set your imagination to work with pillows, blankets, and cushions from around the house. And remember: An indoor camping experience isn’t complete without the movies, games, and snacks.

4 of 9

Make It All About the Bubbly

Cheering to the New Year with something fun and fizzy in your glass? My kind of party. Make it a midnight toast to remember by setting up a DIY champagne bar or try one of these champagne-forward cocktails. All that’s really left is to make your celebration’s décor as glitzy and glam as your drinks.

Host a Desserts-Only Feast

This is a great party option if you’re wanting to start the celebrations a little later on in the evening. Set out a buffet of all the best treats and ask guests to contribute their favorites to the spread. Nothing like a strategic sugar rush to keep you up until midnight. Here’s how to create a dessert charcuterie board for a crowd.

5 of 9

Indulge in a Midnight Brunch

While we’re all for a New Year’s Day brunch, there’s nothing stopping you from enjoying your favorite breakfast foods the night before as well. Celebrate with carbs galore—I’m talking about waffles, pancakes, a bagel bar, sweet baked treats—and your favorite fruity cocktails. Your party will still feel elevated while being wonderfully cozy, laidback, and casual. No fuss necessary.

Throw a Fondue Party

Retro in all the right ways. Fondue is easy to prepare and a great way to wrap dinner and dessert all into one. Cheese and chocolate is the best combo my taste buds know, and by setting out a variety of bites for dipping, you’ll ensure everyone’s satisfied.

6 of 9

Marathon All the Best Movies of the Year

Because I’m normally in bed by 9 p.m. (hey, all the cool kids are doing it), I usually only make it through one post-dinner movie before I’m out cold. But because our bedtimes get extended on New Year’s Eve, you have plenty of time to make it through a million (okay, maybe three or four) movies before the clock strikes midnight. Round up a list of all the year’s best movies and start your binge-watching.

Try a Wine Tasting With Friends

Sipping on new wines is enough of a reason to have a party, but it’s also a fun way to whet your palate (haha!) for the year to come. Put together a cheese board, supply a few bottles, and ask your guests to bring one or two wines that they’ve been dying to try. Compare notes or just sip and party away. New year, meet your new go-to glass.

7 of 9

Celebrate Cuisines From Around the World

This is one of my favorite takes on the traditional potluck party. Have all your guests sign up for a cuisine they want to showcase and celebrate on the evening’s menu. You’ll learn more about other cultures and get to sample an array of foods and dishes you might not otherwise have. Check “expanding your horizons off your resolutions list.

Karaoke Your Heart Out

Not a singer? Doesn’t matter. Belting out your favorite songs from the past twelve months will make anyone sentimental about 2022 and is bound to be a good time. You can even host a mini awards ceremony at the end for Best Voice, Most Heart, Greatest Impersonation, and so on.

8 of 9

Set and Share Your Intentions with Friends

While intention-setting can be a solitary activity, it can also feel supportive and motivating to share your goals with your friends. Practically, this can look like creating vision boards together. Gather up magazines and ask your guests to bring inspiring images or words they might want to include in their vision board. As you craft and create together, you can reflect on what you want to bring into your life in 2023. If people feel comfortable, try sharing and speaking to what you each included in your vision board. After all, sharing our dreams is a key part of making them happen.

Let Everyone Play Bartender for the Night

Looking for a new signature drink in 2023? Sign up for an online mixology class with your pals and gather up everything you’ll need to create your own professionally-made cocktails. I wouldn’t mind toasting the new year with an expertly-crafted drink.

9 of 9

Hang Out By the Fire

Tempted to take things outside? Even if it’s chilly where you live, gathering around the fire is a great way to keep warm and cozy up with your closest friends. Be sure to have plenty of blankets on hand and brew up a pot of mulled cider or wine. Don’t forget the marshmallows—it’s not a party without the gooeist s’mores you can make.

This post was originally published on December 26, 2021, and has since been updated.