Emily Post’s presence was felt throughout my childhood home (my mom displayed her etiquette bible proudly on our bookshelf). From how we set the table to dinner party etiquette to the respect we showed one another—these “rules” guided much of my younger life. They’ve also played a key role in who I’ve grown up to be. Yes, while you might be rolling your eyes at the idea of etiquette—and an elementary-age girl taking so much interest in the subject—it’s back in a big way. And because we’re all craving more gatherings, connection, and togetherness in 2023, knowing your dinner party etiquette is more important now than ever.

Featured image by Michelle Nash.

Dinner Party Etiquette: Everything You Need to Know for 2023

In the words of etiquette expert Heather Wiese, etiquette “is a path to compassion, consideration, and even empathy.” When posited that way, how could you not see the need for more etiquette in our world today?

To get a better idea of what’s expected of us (both as guests and as hosts), I chatted with Heather about all things etiquette. We spoke about what the concept means in 2023, how to navigate hostess gifts for every occasion, and the complex matter of dietary preferences. Be sure to read to the end—Heather’s sharing what’s in and what’s out for perfecting your dinner party etiquette.

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“Etiquette” in this day and age can seem outdated. What does it mean for you in 2023?

This is a great question. What’s outdated about etiquette is the idea that etiquette is outdated. I love that there’s a new buzz around reformatting our ideas and ideals of protocol. Behavior is the elephant in the room no one can avoid. We all might as well harness it and learn to handle it well. Modern etiquette guidelines are the tools you need to realize what isn’t typically obvious to you. Frankly, these revelations make the difference between being perceived as gracious and impressive or possibly lacking in an ability to relate or conduct yourself well in a given situation.

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How can etiquette be used as a tool to help us act more respectfully and thoughtfully toward others?

Reprogram your idea of etiquette. It’s a word many of us need to reconsider and redefine in our minds in order to see its real value. If you use etiquette to feel more elite or one-up someone, you’ve missed the boat completely (and you can assume everyone saw the big splash into a self-absorbed abyss). Etiquette is a path to compassion, consideration, and even empathy when used as intended.

Reprogram your idea of etiquette. It’s a word many of us need to reconsider and redefine in our minds in order to see its real value.

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What are some good examples of host gifts to bring to a dinner party? Do you always have to bring a gift?

The key phrase here was “dinner party.” Yes—always contribute. If you’re helping with the dinner itself, there might be something small in addition you can bring that says, “I appreciate you hosting.” However, when you’re arriving as a carefree guest being served, a modest but thoughtful gift is a big YES.

I’ll give you a few scenarios from my past few weeks. Over the holiday, I was invited to my parents’ friends for a casual dinner and football-watching. They made dinner. He has a wine collection I’d be intimidated to grace with my last-minute local purchase. Instead, I brought a pretty desk calendar from my collection.

There really are only two rules: consider the host, contribute something material in some way.

I’ve picked up some funny cocktail napkins, a nice candle, and some gourmet chocolates on different occasions for similar parties. Last week I was invited to the home of someone I don’t know well. I had no idea of their style. I grabbed a gift tag from my stash and a fresh orchid on the way to the dinner party. Last night I headed out last-minute to a friend’s house for an impromptu dinner. I grabbed a bottle of wine from my stash so I didn’t show up empty-handed. There really are only two rules: consider the host, contribute something material in some way.

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Dietary preferences are so common these days. What are some ways to navigate this as a guest? What about if you’re the host?

If you’re the guest and you have true dietary restrictions, you’ve been doing this dance far longer than any of us have been commenting on the subject. I commend you for showing up and doing what you can to be social and relatively discrete with a difficult situation. Everyone I’ve encountered with these issues has always handled it so well. They contact the host ahead, sometimes bring their own food, and put everyone at ease as they navigate their critical musts. Seeing this done graciously is truly impressive.

Hosts, it’s always good to ask if anyone has any dietary limitations and if you’re feeling accommodating if anyone has any preferences—although the latter is not necessary. If you do have someone who requires special food handling, ask their advice and take it. Take it as a chance to learn from someone’s experiences.

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It’s 2023—what’s in and what’s out in the world of dinner party etiquette?

What’s in:

1. Good manners and thoughtfulness. Knowing how to set the table isn’t out of style by any means. If you’re truly into entertaining, knowing some modern trends to offer up is always good.
2. Know the source. Growing sustainably, responsibly, locally—these are all growing in popularity and they are great dinner party conversation. Be ready for interesting meals that bring conversation to the table.
3. Mocktails. That’s right! They aren’t just for moms-to-be anymore. Creative juices and flavor are flowing and so fun to make. There’s now a trendy take on being healthier, pacing yourself better, or simply avoiding alcohol altogether.
4. Mushrooms, roots, and foraging. Unique fruits aren’t out altogether, but the earthy elements and backwoods fare are having their day.
5. Experiences. Maybe it’s because we’re all out of our cages with a new view on life and friends and celebrating. Whatever the reason, planning out themes, bringing in a pro, or creating an experiential environment is definitely having a moment.
6. Etiquette! No, really. People are arming themselves with civility and modern manners for no other reason, just to have an enjoyable night away from the norm. Come looking educated in this little movement with questions to make conversation like: How do you know the host? How do you like to spend your free time? Do you get to travel or if you could, where would you love to go? Are you watching a good series or reading a good book?

What’s out:

In general, a dinner party is about people gathering and having a great time. These are the buzz-kills you should always avoid, especially now.

1. Bringing bought food when everyone else has contributed a homemade dish.
2. Bringing your complaints or divisive conversations to the party.
3. Cooking with canned, preservative-loaded foods.
4. Talking to only the people you know and not asking questions to learn about new subjects or people (it’s just a few hours, you can do it!).
5. Bringing up how much something costs or how much someone, including yourself, makes.
6. Arriving early. Give your hosts time to do their thing. Don’t show up early and cut their timeline short.
7. Arriving fashionably rudely late. Let’s be real, dinner parties aren’t business meetings—unless they sort-of are. A good guideline is 5-10 min grace from the host’s recommended start time.

There are countless ways to ring in the New Year. You can get dressed up and go out for a night with the gang. You can book an enviable spot at one of your city’s best restaurants. Or, if you’re like me and don’t want to change out of your sweats (your stylish sweats, mind you), you’re staying home this NYE. To help all of us homebodies celebrate the countdown to midnight, I’ve rounded up the best New Year’s Eve party ideas for an unforgettable night at home.

While the night-in option may have once brought on feelings of FOMO, I haven’t worried about missing out since before March 2020. Sure, a few minutes scrolling through social media might make me wish I had a big trip or night out planned. But I’ve been working hard to cultivate a sense of confidence in my decisions to do what’s best for me. That means releasing the pressure for my New Year’s Eve to be *amazing.* Instead, I’m celebrating exactly how I want to: at home and inspired by one of these ideas below. 

Featured image by Michelle Nash.

15 New Year’s Eve Party Ideas at Home That Are Just as Good as Going Out

Because staying in for the night doesn’t have to feel like a consolation prize. If anything, spending what’s arguably the most celebrated night of the year chez toi, is a testament to how we’ve learned to get creative and have fun in the comfort of our homes. Whether you’re wanting to get in the kitchen, spend all night marathoning must-watch movies, or getting cozy with friends, let the following ideas remind you that there’s no such thing as being bored at home. Especially on New Year’s Eve.

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Throw an Elegant Dinner Party

Never a bad idea for New Year’s Eve. This is a great option if you still want to get dressed up but don’t want to deal with the hassle of going out (too cold, too expensive, too… not my house). And just because it’s elegant doesn’t mean that the preparation has to be hard. DIY a few arrangements (Trader Joe’s is my go-to for florals on the fly), scatter some tea lights throughout your space and set your dream tablescape. And while you’re welcome to make a three-course meal on your own, it’s also totally fine if you want to order in from your favorite fancy restaurant.

Settle in for a Spa Night With Your Girls

A different sort of indulgence. In 2023, I’m focused on consistent self-care, and there’s no better way to set that intention in motion than with a dedicated spa night. Ask everyone to bring their favorite nail polish colors and gather all your supplies for manicures, pedicures, and more. An easy way to step (literally) into the New Year feeling your best.

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Make All Your Favorite Comfort Foods

New Year’s Eve is about indulgence, and it’s not a party without your favorite foods. Hosting a couple of friends for the evening? Settle on a few recipes in advance (the cheesier, the better, in my opinion) and get in the kitchen together. If it’s a larger fête you’re after, make it a potluck! Ask guests to bring their ride-or-die comfort food (mine’s mashed potatoes) and add to the feast. You might want to include a pre-midnight nap in your party plans

Set Up a Campsite Indoors

Make the most of the great indoors! Gather your camping equipment (tent, sleeping bags, etc.) and settle in for the coziest evening ever. Short a tent or two? Make like The Holiday and set your imagination to work with pillows, blankets, and cushions from around the house. And remember: An indoor camping experience isn’t complete without the movies, games, and snacks.

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Make It All About the Bubbly

Cheering to the New Year with something fun and fizzy in your glass? My kind of party. Make it a midnight toast to remember by setting up a DIY champagne bar or try one of these champagne-forward cocktails. All that’s really left is to make your celebration’s décor as glitzy and glam as your drinks.

Host a Desserts-Only Feast

This is a great party option if you’re wanting to start the celebrations a little later on in the evening. Set out a buffet of all the best treats and ask guests to contribute their favorites to the spread. Nothing like a strategic sugar rush to keep you up until midnight. Here’s how to create a dessert charcuterie board for a crowd.

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Indulge in a Midnight Brunch

While we’re all for a New Year’s Day brunch, there’s nothing stopping you from enjoying your favorite breakfast foods the night before as well. Celebrate with carbs galore—I’m talking about waffles, pancakes, a bagel bar, sweet baked treats—and your favorite fruity cocktails. Your party will still feel elevated while being wonderfully cozy, laidback, and casual. No fuss necessary.

Throw a Fondue Party

Retro in all the right ways. Fondue is easy to prepare and a great way to wrap dinner and dessert all into one. Cheese and chocolate is the best combo my taste buds know, and by setting out a variety of bites for dipping, you’ll ensure everyone’s satisfied.

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Marathon All the Best Movies of the Year

Because I’m normally in bed by 9 p.m. (hey, all the cool kids are doing it), I usually only make it through one post-dinner movie before I’m out cold. But because our bedtimes get extended on New Year’s Eve, you have plenty of time to make it through a million (okay, maybe three or four) movies before the clock strikes midnight. Round up a list of all the year’s best movies and start your binge-watching.

Try a Wine Tasting With Friends

Sipping on new wines is enough of a reason to have a party, but it’s also a fun way to whet your palate (haha!) for the year to come. Put together a cheese board, supply a few bottles, and ask your guests to bring one or two wines that they’ve been dying to try. Compare notes or just sip and party away. New year, meet your new go-to glass.

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Celebrate Cuisines From Around the World

This is one of my favorite takes on the traditional potluck party. Have all your guests sign up for a cuisine they want to showcase and celebrate on the evening’s menu. You’ll learn more about other cultures and get to sample an array of foods and dishes you might not otherwise have. Check “expanding your horizons off your resolutions list.

Karaoke Your Heart Out

Not a singer? Doesn’t matter. Belting out your favorite songs from the past twelve months will make anyone sentimental about 2022 and is bound to be a good time. You can even host a mini awards ceremony at the end for Best Voice, Most Heart, Greatest Impersonation, and so on.

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Set and Share Your Intentions with Friends

While intention-setting can be a solitary activity, it can also feel supportive and motivating to share your goals with your friends. Practically, this can look like creating vision boards together. Gather up magazines and ask your guests to bring inspiring images or words they might want to include in their vision board. As you craft and create together, you can reflect on what you want to bring into your life in 2023. If people feel comfortable, try sharing and speaking to what you each included in your vision board. After all, sharing our dreams is a key part of making them happen.

Let Everyone Play Bartender for the Night

Looking for a new signature drink in 2023? Sign up for an online mixology class with your pals and gather up everything you’ll need to create your own professionally-made cocktails. I wouldn’t mind toasting the new year with an expertly-crafted drink.

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Hang Out By the Fire

Tempted to take things outside? Even if it’s chilly where you live, gathering around the fire is a great way to keep warm and cozy up with your closest friends. Be sure to have plenty of blankets on hand and brew up a pot of mulled cider or wine. Don’t forget the marshmallows—it’s not a party without the gooeist s’mores you can make.

This post was originally published on December 26, 2021, and has since been updated.